Love is posited as the solution to everything…and I happen to agree with that. But what are the distinguishing marks of Christian love? I like the story told by Steven Covey about the man who told him about a problem: the man no longer loved his wife. Covey responded:”so love her.” The man was puzzled. He said, “But you don’t understand…I don’t love my wife!” Again, Covey said, “Then love her!!”
The troubled husband was referring to love as if it were a Dow Jones commodity that you looked up on your laptop each day ( uh oh, our love has gone down 2 points today.) For Christians, love must first and foremost be an action verb. The qualities that are associated with active loving are:
· Attention – if you love someone you pay attention to them. You listen to what they need and want. You seek to understand them. You laugh with them and cry with them and stand by them. Pay attention
· Priority – you make it clear that compared with so many mundane details and distractions, that they are more important than anything else. You find time for them and are willing to push other things aside
· Acceptance – you find people where they are and don’t automatically try to shape them in your image. You restrain yourself from trying to solve their problems and instead offer support in their struggles
· Respect – love without respect can be a toxic combination. Abusive spouses may love their partners but they do not respect them. Respecting the other means that we do not try to dominate and we seek solutions that include the needs and concerns of the other.
As the fourth Advent candle is lit this Sunday, re-commit to loving those around you.
